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Mark and Sharita have been married for 5 years. They both love each other dearly, but their marriage is unhealthy. It has been unfruitful for the past 2 years. They feel like they are just functioning in a very dysfunctional relationship.
It’s at the point where Sharita just wants to give up and quit. She is tired! She is frustrated! She just feels there is more to marriage than what she has been experiencing. Sharita now looks forward to going to work, more than she does coming home. They have 2 kids and she loves them very much. However, she is starting to think that "I can do this by myself".
Can you relate?
Sharita is in a hopeless place. She notices that her friends are doing well in their marriages and she just can’t figure out what is going wrong with hers. At times, she blames herself for the distance and loneliness she feels in the marriage. On the contrary, deep down she thinks it’s Mark’s fault because he doesn’t know how to love her unconditionally. He acts like they are happy in front of his parents and his friends, but privately there is no joy. This makes Sharita even more annoyed and confused.
Based on this scenario, this is what we call a “Bleeding Marriage”.
The more a marriage bleeds the weaker it becomes.
If you answer “YES” to these questions then keep reading. There is hope for you!
Just like this story of Mark and Sharita, we also have experienced a bleeding marriage. We would like to share a few ways we discovered that healed our marriage.
Read on to receive them?
Ok, so grab your bible and turn with us to Mark 5:25-34.
Stop here and read this passage.
We see here that there is a woman who is dealing with an issue of blood that she has been battling for 12 long years. She has spent all of her money on doctors that could not heal her. However, one day she heard that Jesus was in her town. She was aware of His healing power. The woman believed in her heart that “If I can just touch His robe, I’ll be made well!”
Her mind was made up, so she pressed through the crowd to get to Jesus. By one simple touch immediately healed this woman. You want to know why? Simply because she BELIEVED.
Well, think for a moment. When you have a severe cut and it is bleeding non-stop, there are a few things you need to do. Right?
1) Apply Pressure
2) Get Help….It’s Bigger than You
3) Believe the Healing Comes After the Pressure
Allow us to break this down as it relates to your marriage.
Step 1: Apply Pressure:
When you have a cut and it is bleeding you immediately apply pressure. Correct?
In a marriage that is bleeding, you start to experience more and more pressures of life. It’s in the midst of pressure where you begin to feel failure, fault others and want to give up the faith. Listen to us, this is a critical time in your marriage and it's just a part of the the process toward your healing. The pressure has a purpose and it will position and prep you for the breakthrough.
Step 2: Get Help….It’s Bigger than You!
Yep, you heard us right. You can’t stop this kind of bleeding on your own.
Take the time to strengthen your relationship with Jesus and ask Him to send you others to support your marriage. God gets His work done on earth through His people. Seek out your Pastor, Christian Counselor/Coach, go on a Marriage Retreat or take a Seminar to receive the teachings and tools about God’s deliverance and healing power? It works!
Step 3: Believe the Healing Comes After the Pressure.
After pressure is applied and you receive the help of others; healing will begin to take place.
You will start to believe in your spirit that the bleeding is slowing down and will eventually stop. During the time of pressure, that's when you need to start believing that everything is going to be alright. This is part of the process and the end result is a healed and healthy marriage.
We believe that there are many marriages that are bleeding right now and we are praying for your healing.
We know you want it to work. You need it to work. You believe that it could work. You just want this one area to be resolved once and for all.
Beloved, know that your healing is here. If you are in this place and reading this post, then God is showing you the power of His healing. You just need to believe that it is pointed in your direction and coming upon you now. Believe it in your heart and walk out these three steps and watch God work.
Praise the Lord! Now finish what you started and don’t give up! Hold onto the hope of the Lord and remember the blessings He has already done for you and your spouse.
Until next time…..
Live in Peace,
Billy and Yolanda
P.S.- We pray that this post has encouraged you and blessed your spirit. We accept prayer request, so please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We would be delighted to pray with you and for you. Your deliverance is coming!!
P.P.S- Don't forget to click the like button and share this post!
Kendrick and Latoya have been married for a few years now. They have a great relationship and God has truly favored their union. They have been blessed with a great home, great jobs and a great family. It’s Tuesday night and Kendrick is catching an afternoon flight to Salt Lake City. Kendrick is no stranger to corporate travel. He is accustomed to five-star accommodations and chauffeurs with this position.
On this particular evening after his arrival, the company provided a social hour in the ballroom of the hotel. The room is dimly lit with the soothing sounds of easy jazz playing by a live band. The open bar is stocked with your choice of libation and provides the relief of tension from the travel and business of the day. This relief also allows the company’s staff to remove that coat of professionalism and award themselves an evening of casual conversation.
After mingling through the crowd, a beautiful woman makes her way over to Kendrick. He recognized her from the web conference meetings with the company. As she approaches him, there is no intent by either party aside from casual conversation. But as the evening rolls on the conversation begins to turn personal and the drinks continued to flow. Although there was no initial intent, opportunities began to reveal themselves.
What will this man do? These opportunities can cloud his mind and cause him to disregard his vow to God, his wife and family. If Kendrick takes the bait, a seed will be planted that leads to the possible death of a great marriage. In this scenario, who is the blame?
God has allowed us freedom in our blessings. We must be conscious of our motives as we live in this freedom.
“My brothers and sisters, you were chosen to be free. But don’t use your freedom as an excuse to live in sin. Instead, serve one another in love.” -Galatians 5:13
The more we grow spiritually, the more we become awaken and aware of the sinful temptations of this world. We must be careful and train ourselves to stay obedient, faithful and true to God.
It is imperative that we know and recognize the three temptations that can kill a great marriage.
For everything that belongs to the world the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride in one’s lifestyle is not from the Father, but is from the world. -1 John 2:16
Temptation #1: Lust of the Flesh
It is the urge and desire to satisfy the physical feelings of the flesh. Leaning to your fleshly desires are always temporary and the byproduct of adhering to it is sin. You know it’s of the flesh because it doesn’t align with God’s Word. Paul explains the lust of the flesh in this scripture below.
Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and anything similar. I tell you about these things in advance as I told you before that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.- Galatians 5:19-21
What can you do?
Here is one way to overcome this temptation:
Read Galatians 5:22-23 it’s where you find The Fruits of the Spirit. These characteristics will keep you focused on Jesus when the weapon is formed against you.
Temptation #2: Lust of the Eyes
Social Media, television and magazines are so vivid, transparent and accessible these days. You can come across images and videos that capture the eye within seconds. You could be thumbing through your favorite magazine and there it is, a half-naked person. You could be scrolling down Facebook and there it is, your former "love thang" appears dressed to the nine. Not only does this temptation lure you off course, but it causes you to covet over other people and their possessions.
**WARNING...You can’t have what doesn’t belong to you! Check out how David handled this temptation.
One evening David got up from his bed and strolled around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing a very beautiful woman. So David sent someone to inquire about her, and he reported, “This is Bathsheba, daughter of Eliam and wife of Uriah the Hittite.” David sent messengers to get her, and when she came to him, he slept with her. -2 Samuel 11:2-4
What can you do?
Here are two ways to overcome this temptation:
Temptation #3: Pride
You ever heard that term “one up”. That is what pride does to you. You always want to “one up” someone else. You even go the extra mile to put other people down to make up for your lack of attention. Pride is when you think your success was accomplished in your own power and strength. You quickly get the “I” syndrome. I accomplished that goal. I built this company. I make all the money.
Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the LORD; be assured, he will not go unpunished. –Proverbs 16:5
What can you do?
Here is one way to overcome this temptation:
Join the Conversation!
Billy and I love to hear your insight on our blog topic. This week we have two questions:
1) What are other ways you have seen these temptations slip into marriages?
2) What are some other methods to consider that would prevent these temptations,
so they won’t kill marriages?
How can you say that to me? Do you not realize that hurts my feelings and draws pain to my heart? I thought you loved me? I thought you respected and honored me! Do you not accept me for me?
It’s in these moments when your down and just begin to loose hope. Yeah, you are not where you want to be in life. You have not accomplished all the goals you dreamed and desired to achieve by now. You may be down and struggling within a storm. Even so, this does not give your spouse the right to use judgmental and hurtful words when your at the lowest point? You see it is at the lowest point when God is at His greatest point. In other words when we are weak; our God is strong!
Married people, don't continue rehearsing the list of failures of your spouse while they are traveling through this season. Ok, they messed up! But remember “this too shall pass” and the bigger question is “will you be there when it passes and blessings come?
We should be mindful of what we say to our spouse when they are already hurting or fighting through a stronghold. When they are filled with despair. When they are in that place of temptation and pressure. The last thing they need is to be reminded of what they are not doing and what they need to be doing.
The bible teaches us that life and death are in the power of the tongue. (Proverbs 18:21)
Do you not realize that your words can settle on one’s heart and cause them more harm than good? When Billy and I were facing our biggest storm, I found myself in a place of total frustration on most days. So I tried to numb my pain by focusing so hard on my career, my goals, my kids and what “I” wanted to do. At times, I would threaten him with the “D” word….."divorce" and tell him I will be taking the kids. This was "my way" of straightening him up. Well, you know that didn't work. God said look at you, what part are you playing in this relationship? He said “I got him”. You need to face YOUR demons!
Whew!!! That hit me like a heavy house brick. All along I was thinking it was “him”. Soon after, I realized I needed to turn from my wicked ways and truly seek God’s face. (2 Chronicles 7:14) I had to get down on my face in prayer night after night and surrender myself unto the Lord. I even had to go away on a sabbatical and allow God to prune my branches and cut off all that dead stuff that was weighing me down. (John 15:2) Ouch…that hurt! God was showing me that in our marriage we must first love Him, seek Him and strengthen our own personal walk with the Lord. (Matthew 6:33)
As we did, God began to send signs of relief and He began to close my mouth when my flesh wanted to speak out and be rebellious. He began to send us peace in our hearts and taught us how to focus on what He was doing through our marriage. We no longer pointed fingers at each other or accused each other. That’s not who we were fighting. (Epheisans 6:12) We identified the strategy that the enemy had plotted against us and then we turned and used our weapons that God gave us. That weapon is the Word of God. (Ephesians 6:17)
We were reminded that this was the only weapon to use and it should come out of our mouths to declare the victory of Jesus Christ. You see Jesus has already equipped us with all that we need to continue fighting the “good fight of faith”. (1 Timothy 6:12) We just have to tap into it and be confident that He will ignite His mighty power on our behalf. God is so amazing! Just like He performed this miracle through us. We believe He is doing the same for you. Just choose to live in peace and not in pieces.
Only by Grace,
Billy and Yolanda
P.S.- Hey there, if this post was a blessing to you, please post it and share it so together we can strengthen marriages and be a light in this world. Also, if you have marriage questions or need prayer please don't hesitate to send us a message via email. We are here to serve! Peace!
Authors Billy & Yolanda
This is the place where we share our heart through God's Word in faith that will inspire and empower you to live in peace.