Being Forgiven

Ephesians 4:32 “And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” ~CSB

These days when I think about forgiveness, I think about my second oldest daughter. Alysa was around ten years old when her mother and I divorced. Looking back on that time I was not the best father to her and her sister. What I didn’t know was the damage caused by my character and my actions. My alcohol addiction was still in its growing stages, but it was mature enough to affect how I treated her. First of all being in the military, I was not home a lot. But when I was, I did not spend a lot of quality time with Alysa. At that time, I considered my time off, ‘my time’. But that was far from the truth.

Because of who I was then, I damaged the relationship between me and my daughter. In time I learned how much damage had been done. One of my mistakes happened after the divorce with Alysa’s mother. As far as my ‘weekends’ with her, I allowed my ten year old daughter to decide if she wanted to spend the weekend with me or not. She did not so I did not push the issue. I should have because that resulted in me not being there as a father to her in her younger years. Years later, because of my lack of stepping in, I received a phone call from her stating that she did not want to talk to me anymore.

Fortunately this was a time when I was building a strong relationship with God. He led me to not give up, but to not be ‘pushy’ either. I shortened my calls with Alysa to once a month. Several months later we were able to have a breakthrough. God answered both our prayers and she allowed me to have a long and enlightening conversation with her. As a result of that conversation, Alysa forgave me. I could tell in her voice that she was still hurting. I could tell that she really did not want to forgive me at that time, but she did it anyway.

It took awhile but we became closer. Today I can still tell its hard for her sometimes because she is stuck with the memories. Memories I was too inebriated to remember. But she fights everyday to remain righteous in her forgiveness of my past actions toward her. It is this power she demonstrates everyday in her relationship with me as her father that keeps me strong in my daily living as a servant to the kingdom. 

As far as forgiveness goes, once we receive it from those we hurt, we now must do better. We may not be able to change what we did, but we can make sure we show and live genuine love to all our brothers and sisters in Christ just as God created us to do. I 'love' because God loved me first. I continue to love those who hurt me because God taught me that, through my daughter's "...compassion and kindness..."

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