How can you say that to me? Do you not realize that hurts my feelings and draws pain to my heart? I thought you loved me? I thought you respected and honored me! Do you not accept me for me?
It’s in these moments when your down and just begin to loose hope. Yeah, you are not where you want to be in life. You have not accomplished all the goals you dreamed and desired to achieve by now. You may be down and struggling within a storm. Even so, this does not give your spouse the right to use judgmental and hurtful words when your at the lowest point? You see it is at the lowest point when God is at His greatest point. In other words when we are weak; our God is strong!
Married people, don't continue rehearsing the list of failures of your spouse while they are traveling through this season. Ok, they messed up! But remember “this too shall pass” and the bigger question is “will you be there when it passes and blessings come?
We should be mindful of what we say to our spouse when they are already hurting or fighting through a stronghold. When they are filled with despair. When they are in that place of temptation and pressure. The last thing they need is to be reminded of what they are not doing and what they need to be doing.
The bible teaches us that life and death are in the power of the tongue. (Proverbs 18:21)
Do you not realize that your words can settle on one’s heart and cause them more harm than good? When Billy and I were facing our biggest storm, I found myself in a place of total frustration on most days. So I tried to numb my pain by focusing so hard on my career, my goals, my kids and what “I” wanted to do. At times, I would threaten him with the “D” word….."divorce" and tell him I will be taking the kids. This was "my way" of straightening him up. Well, you know that didn't work. God said look at you, what part are you playing in this relationship? He said “I got him”. You need to face YOUR demons!
Whew!!! That hit me like a heavy house brick. All along I was thinking it was “him”. Soon after, I realized I needed to turn from my wicked ways and truly seek God’s face. (2 Chronicles 7:14) I had to get down on my face in prayer night after night and surrender myself unto the Lord. I even had to go away on a sabbatical and allow God to prune my branches and cut off all that dead stuff that was weighing me down. (John 15:2) Ouch…that hurt! God was showing me that in our marriage we must first love Him, seek Him and strengthen our own personal walk with the Lord. (Matthew 6:33)
As we did, God began to send signs of relief and He began to close my mouth when my flesh wanted to speak out and be rebellious. He began to send us peace in our hearts and taught us how to focus on what He was doing through our marriage. We no longer pointed fingers at each other or accused each other. That’s not who we were fighting. (Epheisans 6:12) We identified the strategy that the enemy had plotted against us and then we turned and used our weapons that God gave us. That weapon is the Word of God. (Ephesians 6:17)
We were reminded that this was the only weapon to use and it should come out of our mouths to declare the victory of Jesus Christ. You see Jesus has already equipped us with all that we need to continue fighting the “good fight of faith”. (1 Timothy 6:12) We just have to tap into it and be confident that He will ignite His mighty power on our behalf. God is so amazing! Just like He performed this miracle through us. We believe He is doing the same for you. Just choose to live in peace and not in pieces.
Only by Grace,
Billy and Yolanda
P.S.- Hey there, if this post was a blessing to you, please post it and share it so together we can strengthen marriages and be a light in this world. Also, if you have marriage questions or need prayer please don't hesitate to send us a message via email. We are here to serve! Peace!
Authors Billy & Yolanda
This is the place where we share our heart through God's Word in faith that will inspire and empower you to live in peace.