Have you ever prayed and prayed about something and still not get the answer or the breakthrough you so desperately need? 

You read the bible, you pray and even fast from your favorite food just to hear from God.  You can’t seem to understand why God is still not answering you.  Why are you still in this same place you were this time last year?  Everyone you ask about it just says “keep praying”. 
You are just like, huh! I just don’t get it!

Hey, this is not abnormal. 

How to pray effectively is a common question for some Christians.  The solution is found in 5 simple steps.  Many times, we take the first or second step in the process, but miss steps 3 to 5.  Then soon after, you expect God to open the floodgates and blow your mind with answers. 

But listen this will not happen if you miss a step.  Many of you are not clear on these steps because no one has sat you down to teach them to you or you have not studied what the bible says about prayer.  Remember the bible is our blueprint for life.  Your answer and direction is found in scripture.  We just make it difficult by attempting to mix the “world’s” perspective of prayer with what God says we must do. 

Now, grab a notepad and pen and take good notes.  We are about to share with you 5 Steps to Gett Your Prayers Answered. 

Are you ready?  Ok, let’s go.

The blueprint is found in Mark 11: 22-25.
 22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

In this scripture, we find the 5 steps.  Do you see them?  Ok, let's walk through each one.

Step One: You must have faith in God.  Are you a believer?  Do you truly believe that there is a God who rules and reins?  Do you believe that you are a sinner who has been saved by God’s grace?  Romans 10:9 says If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  Your faith must be in God and not in “what” you are seeking God to do through prayer.

Step Two: You must not pray with selfish motives or ambitions.  What is your heart’s desire?  Will it only bless you, your spouse and your family?  James 4:3 says When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.  For example, if you are praying God, please help my spouse to be more active in church, join a small group, find friends, learn to cook…. then our marriage would be better.  This example is not considered bad prayers, but it is what YOU want.  You are putting God in a box.  A better way to express this in prayer is to desire what God has for your spouse.  God’s plan and purpose for your life and your spouse is so much greater than we can even imagine.  God knows what your spouse needs and what they can handle.  Isiah 55:8 says “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.  And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.”  This means God knows best!

Step Three: Your prayers must be for the building up of God’s Kingdom.  Will your prayer benefit God’s people? Does your request align with God’s purpose for your life?  To build up God’s Kingdom, you must be obedient and surrender to God’s Word.  That’s where you will find direction.  John 14:21 says “Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”  May God’s will be done!

Step Four: You must not hold a grudge with others.  Have you forgiven them?  You can’t come to God with your request if you have not forgiven your spouse or anyone else who has wronged you.   Forgiveness is a process where you are accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution.  Forgiveness is not something you do for others.  It is a process you do for yourself.  Ephesians 4:32 says Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Step Five: You must pray with specificity and not doubt.  Do you know what the Word says about your request?  Praying with specificity builds your faith and confidence in God’s Word and will for your life.  If you believe and know what the Word says about your situation then your prayers become ignited with great power.  Review the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:9-14 to gain a better understanding for praying with specificity.  James 1:6 says, but when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.

Following these 5 Steps will get you on the right path for your prayers to be answered.  Be sure to study the scripture lessons we have mentioned and ask God for wisdom as you pray.
 
Until Next Time, Live in Peace!
-Billy & Yolanda

P.S.- Want to engage with like-minded couples?  Connect with the community of Kingdom Power Couples HERE!  Kingdom Power Couples have one focus in mind and that is reverse the stigma of marriage as the "world" sees it and radically exemplify how God has ordained it to be.  Kingdom Power Couples are committed to living out their God-given purpose and making BOLD audacious moves for the Kingdom.  While exemplifying the true essence of a godly marriage.   Join the movement and become a Kingdom Power Couple TODAY!
 

The clock strikes 6:00am and you roll over reaching for your phone to turn off that alarm.  You find yourself waking up to another day with the same task ahead of you.  You know that you must get yourself out of bed because “responsibility” in the package of little children are depending on you.  If you don’t move, they won’t move.  You look back and see that your spouse is still sound to sleep.  They get an extra 30 minutes of snooze time because their morning task are very much different than yours. 

Your feet hit the floor and you begin stand to stand up and barely sigh “thank you Lord”.  You are grateful for seeing another day, but as you make your way into the bathroom for your morning rituals you find yourself thinking how long will this continue?  How long will my life feel this way?  You are too busy to give it much thought or wait for God to answer you. 

So, you rush to brush your teeth and get on your robe to rush in and wake the kids for summer camp and day care.  Still not a peep from your spouse!  After three calls to the kids and knocking on doors to wake them up you make it to the kitchen just in time to get the coffee brewing and some oatmeal ready.    Now you begin to hear the sound of rumbling feet from the kids and suddenly they are yelling “hurry up”, get out of my bathroom.  You sigh again and then hear your spouse stepping in.  Stop it you two.  Brush your teeth and get your clothes on.  It’s almost time to go.

As you pack their lunch for the day and let Pettie (the dog) out to potty.  You check emails to see what may have come in and a quick dash down the Facebook Timeline.  You realize, oh I go to go.  You drop your phone and yell for everyone "breakfast is ready".    

The kids dash to the kitchen to eat; while you finish getting dressed.  As the tunes of Tasha Cobb play in the background you get a little more pep in your step.  That ‘Break Every Chain’ song always gets your spirit moving.  As you give your spouse a quick kiss on the cheek and good bye, you swiftly jump in the car ready to hit the morning traffic. 

Then after a full day’s work you fight the same old traffic giving yourself just enough time to pick up both of the kids.  Get home and what you planned for dinner no longer sounds that great.  Oh well, it’s too late to change plans.  Dinner is ready an hour later and your spouse hits the door from work greeting the kids with enthusiasm while giving you a short “hey” with barely in eye contact. 

Then it happens, the silent treatment.  Not one single sentence from your spouse.  But without hesitation, you decide to engage with conversation anyway.  “Hey Honey, were you able to speak with your boss today about the vacation time?”  They reply, “yes babe” as they continue flipping stations on the television.  Not for one moment do they extend eye contact or even look in your direction or even explain their answer further to you.  Deep down in your heart you know if you asked another question it will trigger the same old arguments and you just don't have the energy for it any longer.  No matter what you say or how you say it, they are not interested.  So, you just join the silence. 

This is the routine each and every day.  When will it get better you ask?  Why does my spouse seem content with this life?  Is there something else going on that I don’t see?  Do they still love me?
These are the questions in the mind of a spouse who is wanting more from their marriage, but receiving no help in return.

What can you do?

Here are 3 tips on what you can do when your spouse is pulling away: 
First:  You must realize that in marriage you will experience peak and valley moments.   This doesn’t mean you have married the wrong person.  It’s just the affects that life presents during your journey.  The key is identifying the season of your marriage and approach it with the mindset that “this too shall pass”. 
Second: Identify what your marriage needs now.  There six simple steps to having a more thriving and fulfilling marriage.  These steps are

1. Tilling the Ground
2. Planting in the Ground
3. Watering the Ground
4. Fertilizing the Ground
5. Pulling Weeds from the Ground
6. Harvesting   

Third: Commit to the process.  In many cases we must allow time for the pain, hurt and emotions to process themselves out; while the good infiltrates itself in.

The issue most married people run into is that they don’t want this change bad enough.  They settle and soon become content in the dysfunction until one day they just can’t take anymore and the only rational option in their mind is “I’m out”.  Let us inform you now, that this is a dangerous place to be.  A wise person once said that “the grass is not always greener on the other side, its greener wherever you water it”.  Meaning that a great marriage is not going to happen magically, there is self-work and discipline to every great marriage. 

You must wake up and recognize the signs and step out beyond you to seek the support and help that is needed in order to break-free from this vicious cycle of an unfilled marriage.
Who wants that anyway?  Not us and we know certainly not you!

To quickly identify what you need to do in this season of your marriage connect with our community of Kingdom Couples and you will get our FREE guide “6 Simple Steps that Will Make the Biggest Impact on Your Marriage, Starting Now”.  Right in your inbox, you will learn this simple six step process that will give you extra insight to know what to do and when to do it in order to break-free from what’s holding your marriage back from thriving.    

Here's to your breakthrough!

Until next time.
Live in Peace!

Your Marriage Breakthrough Coaches,
-Billy & Yolanda

P.S.- Kingdom Couples are married, engaged and seriously dating couples.  We have one focus in mind and that is to reverse the stigma of marriage as the "world" sees it and radically exemplify how God has ordained it to be.  We are committed to living out a healthy, whole and spirit-led marriage so that our families, careers and community will be impacted.  CLICK HERE to grab the FREE Guide!